


On Castiel and Death

by Little_Princess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s13e03 Patience, Gen, Grief/Mourning, John Winchester's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 01:46:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Princess/pseuds/Little_Princess
Summary: Good things did not happen to Dean Winchester





	On Castiel and Death

Good things did not happen to Dean Winchester. He had stopped expecting good things to happen years ago and had focused his energy on Sam instead. Dean didn’t deserve good things, not after everything he had done, but Sam, despite everything, deserved so much. It didn’t matter that Sam had been through just as much shit, Sam deserved every good thing that Dean did not. It had always been that way. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like being tortured in hell when Castiel died.

Castiel had been the exception to the rule. Cas was Dean’s good thing and despite the fact that Dean didn’t deserve it, Cas just kept coming back. Hell, Dean had pushed the angel out and he still came back. Cas had fought heaven for the right to free will, for the right to fight along the Winchesters, for  _ Dean. _ Cas had been the exception to the rule until Lucifer had stabbed him in the back, finally killing the angel.

Sam, the girl that he was, wanted to talk about feelings after the fact. But Dean didn’t talk  _ feelings _ especially when talking about those feeling might cause him to reveal things he’d rather Sam not know. Like the fact that at some point, Dean realized he was in love with his best friend. Dean wasn’t thinking about that right now because it made the hurt of Cas’ death so much harder to bear. It was easier to turn that grief into anger, focus that anger on the thing responsible, and then to kill it. After all, that’s what Dad did. Dean could already hear Sam’s response to that: “Dad was an asshole who was too emotionally repressed to deal with grief in a healthy manner. Let’s talk about this, Dean, instead of killing everything in sight.”

Dean’s inner Sam really was an asshole. Dean grieved just fine. Taking out his anger/grief on monsters was perfectly healthy. Of course, the monster responsible in this case was Jack because it was for Jack that Cas had died because he had seen a fucking perfect world. How could a world be perfect if Cas wasn’t in it? So, obviously, Jack had to go. No matter what Sam said.

Sam had argued that Jack had potential to be good, that “I  _ was _ Jack a few years ago,  _ Dean _ , and you didn’t kill me.” Sam didn’t get it. It doesn’t matter what his potential was, he was the reason Cas was dead. 

**Author's Note:**

> This might become a series. Especially after the last episode.


End file.
